When an employee loses a family member, a manager’s response can have a significant effect. This is a moment where compassion and support become more important than deadlines. How leadership navigates this sensitive period speaks volumes about the organization’s values. A thoughtful approach can reinforce an employee’s sense of belonging and loyalty, fostering a culture where people feel cared for, which shapes the work environment and influences morale.
Immediate Response and Communication
Upon learning of an employee’s loss, the initial outreach should be prompt, personal, and private. A direct phone call is preferable to an email or text message, as it conveys personal care. The goal of this first conversation is not to discuss work, but simply to express human kindness and acknowledge the employee’s pain.
When making the call, lead with a simple and sincere expression of sympathy. Phrases like, “I was so sorry to hear about your loss,” are appropriate. Follow this by explicitly reassuring them not to worry about their professional responsibilities. Say something direct, such as, “Please do not think about work right now; we will take care of everything. Take the time you need.”
It is also important to know what not to say. Avoid clichés like “they are in a better place” or statements that minimize their grief, such as “I know exactly how you feel.” Refrain from asking for details about the death, as this can be intrusive. Instead, focus on listening, allow for silence, and take your cues from the employee, letting them guide the conversation.
Understanding Bereavement Leave Policies
After your initial conversation, the next step is to understand the support the company can formally provide. Review your organization’s specific bereavement leave policy to know the number of paid days offered and which family members are covered. This policy is the foundation of the support you can provide.
There is no federal law in the United States that requires paid time off for bereavement, but a growing number of states and cities have enacted their own laws. It is good practice to confirm your local legal obligations to ensure compliance. The Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) may also be relevant, as it provides unpaid, job-protected leave for a serious health condition arising from grief.
Support often means looking beyond the written policy. Grief does not follow a predictable timeline or a rigid definition of family. Be prepared to offer flexibility if the loss involves someone not explicitly covered, such as a close friend or partner. Demonstrating generosity in these moments shows an employee they are valued.
Providing Practical Support
Beyond formal leave, tangible gestures of support can provide comfort to a grieving employee and their family. A company-sponsored floral arrangement or a sympathy card signed by the team is a traditional and respected way to express condolences.
Colleagues often want to help but may not know how. You can facilitate this by organizing voluntary support, such as a meal train or a collection for a charitable donation in the deceased’s name. When coordinating these efforts, emphasize that participation is entirely optional to avoid placing pressure on other team members.
It is also a thoughtful gesture to ask the grieving employee if they would be comfortable with a manager or close colleagues attending the funeral or memorial service. This should be framed as an offer of support, not an obligation. Respect their wishes completely, whether they welcome the presence of coworkers or prefer to keep the service private.
Managing Work and Team Communication
While the employee is away, clear communication with the rest of the team is necessary. Before sharing any information, you must ask the grieving employee for their permission. Inquire about what, if anything, they are comfortable with you sharing with their colleagues to respect their privacy.
Once you have their consent, inform the team in a simple and direct manner. A brief announcement in a team meeting or via email is appropriate. For example: “[Employee’s Name] has experienced a death in their family and will be out of the office. We are supporting them and covering their responsibilities. Please respect their privacy.”
Simultaneously, create a clear plan to manage the employee’s workload. Reassign urgent tasks and ensure everyone understands their temporary responsibilities. Set up an automatic out-of-office reply for the employee’s email, directing inquiries to a specific colleague. This alleviates a source of stress, allowing them to focus on their family.
Supporting the Employee’s Return to Work
The employee’s return to the workplace requires careful management to ease their transition. Schedule a brief, private meeting with them on their first day back. Use this time to welcome them, ask how they are doing, and discuss any adjustments they may need.
Offer flexibility during this period, such as a phased return to work with half-days that gradually increase to a full schedule. Allowing for flexible hours or temporary remote work can also provide the space they need to manage their grief while reacclimating to their professional duties.
Be mindful of their workload as they return. Have a plan to help them ease back in by prioritizing their tasks and starting them with a lighter workload. This approach prevents them from feeling overwhelmed and supports a more sustainable return.
Offering Long-Term Support
Grief is not a linear process, and support should not cease after the first week of an employee’s return. The journey of grieving is long, so continued compassion is important. Make a point to check in with the employee periodically, not just about work but about how they are doing personally.
Inform the employee about resources for structured support, such as the company’s Employee Assistance Program (EAP). An EAP offers confidential access to counseling and other services that can help individuals navigate the emotions of loss. Clearly explain how they can access this private and professional resource.
Managers should also maintain awareness of potential grief triggers throughout the year. Holidays, birthdays, and the anniversary of the loss can be particularly difficult times. Showing extra patience and understanding around these dates can make a significant difference.