When a colleague is let go, it can be an uncomfortable moment. You may feel unsure of what to say, caught between wanting to express support and fearing you might make things worse. Finding the right words demonstrates compassion and preserves your professional relationship. Reaching out acknowledges their contribution and the difficulty of the situation.
Acknowledge the Situation and Listen First
Your first impulse might be to offer advice or share optimistic thoughts, but the initial moments after a colleague hears the news call for a different approach. The most valuable thing you can provide is a space for them to react without judgment. Their feelings could range from anger and betrayal to shock and sadness, and your role is to be a steady, quiet presence. Begin by acknowledging the reality of the situation with a simple, empathetic statement.
Use phrases that validate their experience, such as, “This sounds incredibly difficult,” or “I’m so sorry you’re going through this.” These words don’t try to fix the problem but instead confirm that their emotional response is justified. Once you have opened the door, your main task is to listen, giving them your full attention and resisting the urge to jump in with your own stories or solutions.
Let them guide the conversation. If they are quiet, sit with them in that silence, as they may be processing the shock. If they need to vent, let them do so without becoming defensive on behalf of the company. Your supportive posture and willingness to simply be present can offer more comfort than any well-intentioned advice you might give at this early stage.
What to Say to Show Support
After you have listened, you can offer words that convey genuine support and respect. The most meaningful statements are specific and personal, reminding your colleague of the value they brought to the workplace. General compliments can feel hollow, but recalling a particular success demonstrates that their work was seen and appreciated. This can also help them as they begin to update their professional profiles.
You might say something like, “I was so sorry to hear the news. I have always been impressed by the way you managed the quarterly reports; your attention to detail was incredible.” Another effective approach is to highlight a personal quality: “Beyond your work, I’m really going to miss your positive attitude in our team meetings. You had a way of making stressful projects feel more manageable.” These specific recollections are powerful because they are authentic and cannot be dismissed as empty pleasantries.
It is also appropriate to express that their presence will be missed on a team level. Phrases like, “The team is going to feel your absence. Your expertise in client relations was a huge asset to all of us,” can reinforce their sense of contribution. The goal is to affirm their professional identity, which often takes a hit after a layoff. Your words can serve as a reminder that their skills and character are intact and valued, regardless of this single event.
What to Avoid Saying and Doing
Certain well-intentioned phrases can have the opposite effect, coming across as dismissive. Steer clear of optimistic platitudes like, “Everything happens for a reason,” or “This will be the best thing that ever happened to you.” This is sometimes called ‘toxic positivity,’ as it invalidates the person’s genuine feelings of loss and anxiety.
Avoid making the situation about yourself by saying things like, “I’m so worried I might be next,” which shifts the focus to your fears. Similarly, sharing a story of your own job loss can make you the center of the conversation. The person needs space to process their own experience without having to comfort you.
Do not gossip or press for details about the layoff. Asking why they were chosen or who else was affected puts them in an uncomfortable position and is not appropriate.
How to Offer Tangible Help
Offering concrete assistance is a powerful way to show support. Instead of a vague offer like, “Let me know if you need anything,” propose specific actions you are willing to take. This shifts the burden from your former colleague and presents them with clear, low-pressure options. These offers can make a material difference in their job search.
Try something specific like, “I’d be happy to review your resume this week if you’d like a second pair of eyes,” or “When you’re ready, I can write a recommendation for your LinkedIn profile highlighting your work on the new software launch.” These tasks are defined and require a simple “yes” or “no,” making it easier for your colleague to accept help.
Another way to assist is by leveraging your professional network. You can say, “I know a few people at [Company X]. Would you be open to me making an introduction via email?” This proactive step can open doors they might not have been able to access on their own and shows you are invested in their future.
Following Up in the Coming Weeks
Support on the day of the layoff is important, but staying in touch shows your concern was not fleeting. The initial flurry of messages will fade, and the following weeks can feel isolating. A follow-up message demonstrates continued support after the initial shock has passed.
A good time to check in is about two to three weeks later. By then, your former colleague has likely had time to process the event and may be starting to think about next steps. A simple text or email is a low-pressure way to reconnect and show you are still thinking of them.
You could write, “Hey, I was just thinking of you and wanted to see how you were doing. No need to reply, just know I’m thinking of you.” This type of message conveys care without demanding an immediate response. This continuation of support can be a source of encouragement during a challenging time.