Understanding the Role of a Personal Reference
When seeking employment, the reference check process often includes a request for character references, commonly known as personal references. This type of reference is distinct from a professional reference, which is typically a former manager, supervisor, or client who can speak directly to job-specific performance metrics and workplace skills. A personal reference serves to illuminate an applicant’s character, reliability, integrity, and non-work-related competencies, providing a holistic view of the individual.
The primary function of this reference is to confirm traits that may not be apparent on a resume or during a structured interview. Recruiters often use these conversations to gauge attributes like ethical behavior, community involvement, and overall maturity. This perspective is particularly relevant for individuals who have limited professional history, such as recent graduates or those changing careers, where established workplace performance data is scarce.
Ideal Candidates for Personal References
Selecting the right individuals to vouch for one’s character requires careful consideration of their relationship dynamics and ability to provide objective commentary. The most effective personal references are those who have observed the candidate’s consistent behavior over a meaningful period in a structured or semi-structured setting. Their testimony carries weight because it comes from a place of long-term, non-familial observation, lending credibility to the assessment of one’s disposition and work ethic.
Former Mentors or Teachers
Educators who have supervised a candidate in an academic or training environment are highly suitable for providing character references. They can speak specifically to discipline, study habits, and the consistent reliability demonstrated in completing assignments and adhering to academic standards. A former teacher or professor’s perspective offers insight into an individual’s ability to take direction and manage long-term responsibilities outside paid employment.
Volunteer Coordinators
Individuals who have managed a candidate’s volunteer activities are excellent choices for demonstrating initiative, commitment, and teamwork. These coordinators can offer concrete examples of how the candidate handled unexpected challenges, collaborated with diverse groups, and maintained a regular schedule without the incentive of a paycheck. Their input highlights an applicant’s willingness to contribute and their sense of commitment beyond personal gain.
Leaders of Community or Religious Organizations
Leaders of long-standing community or religious groups can attest to an applicant’s ethics, leadership abilities, and sustained engagement within a structured environment. Their observations often span several years, allowing them to provide a detailed account of the applicant’s consistent moral compass and capacity for taking on responsibility. This perspective is valuable for illustrating the candidate’s place within a broader social framework.
Long-Term Neighbors or Friends of the Family
While these relationships are often personal, long-term neighbors or family friends can serve as appropriate references if they can speak specifically to the candidate’s maturity and character development. Their testimony should focus on observing the candidate handle significant life events, maintain their property, or interact respectfully within the community, moving beyond vague statements of affection. They must be able to offer specific, illustrative anecdotes rather than simple, generalized praise.
Professional Colleagues (If not managerial)
A professional colleague who worked alongside the candidate is a beneficial reference, provided they were not in a supervisory role. This allows them to speak to shared professional experiences, teamwork dynamics, and collaborative problem-solving skills without the conflict of interest inherent in a former boss’s reference. Their input validates the candidate’s ability to function effectively within a professional environment, focusing on peer-level interaction and support.
People to Avoid When Selecting References
Just as selecting strong references is important, understanding which individuals to exclude is necessary to maintain the integrity of the application process. The primary reason for avoiding certain people is the lack of objective credibility their testimony would carry with a potential employer. A reference’s value is significantly diminished if the hiring manager suspects an inherent bias in the appraisal.
Immediate family members, including parents, siblings, or spouses, should be excluded because their relationship automatically implies a non-objective perspective. Similarly, a close friend who cannot speak to the candidate’s competence, work ethic, or reliability in a structured setting should also be avoided. The reference must be able to provide specific, verifiable evidence of positive character traits, not merely personal affection or generalized support.
Candidates should also avoid listing their current direct supervisor unless they have explicitly informed the supervisor of their job search and received their full support. Listing a current boss without prior notification can jeopardize one’s current position and introduce complication into the reference check process.
How to Strategically Ask Someone to Be Your Reference
The process of securing a reference begins with a professional and respectful request for permission before ever providing their contact information to a potential employer. Never list an individual’s name or phone number on an application without their explicit, recent consent, as this shows a lack of consideration for their time and professional boundaries. The request should be made through a formal channel, such as a well-composed email or a direct phone call, providing context for the upcoming inquiry.
When making the initial request, clearly articulate the nature of the job being sought and why the individual’s specific experience with the candidate is relevant to the position. This context allows the potential reference to assess whether they are comfortable speaking highly of the candidate’s character in the specific areas requested by the employer.
It is helpful to ask directly, “Are you comfortable serving as a strong personal reference for me for this type of role?” This phrasing gives the individual an easy way to decline if they feel they cannot provide the necessary strong endorsement. A successful request establishes an ongoing, professional relationship where the candidate commits to keeping the reference informed of their progress and thanking them for their time.
Preparing Your References for the Call
Once permission is secured, the next step involves providing the reference with the necessary materials to ensure their testimony is relevant and targeted to the specific job. The candidate should send a concise packet of information that includes the job description, the name of the company, and an updated copy of the resume. This allows the reference to align their comments with the employer’s stated requirements and the narrative presented in the application materials.
The candidate must also suggest specific stories or character traits the reference should highlight during the call. For instance, the candidate might ask a former teacher to mention their persistence in completing a difficult independent study project, or request a neighbor to cite their organizational skills during a community event. Providing these cues helps the reference move beyond generic praise and offer detailed, illustrative anecdotes.
Finally, the reference should be notified immediately when the hiring manager indicates that a reference check is imminent, including the likely time frame. This proactive communication ensures the reference is prepared to receive the call and can answer promptly.

