Feeling that you are being intentionally targeted by your boss can be a stressful and isolating experience. The situation often creates confusion and self-doubt, leaving you to question if the treatment is real or imagined. This guide provides actionable advice for navigating this scenario to protect yourself and determine the best path forward.
Understanding Workplace Targeting
In a professional setting, “targeting” signifies a persistent pattern of unfair treatment directed at one person. This differs from a manager who is demanding or disorganized, as those traits affect the entire team. Targeting concentrates negative behaviors on an individual to undermine, isolate, or push them out.
This form of workplace bullying can damage your career and mental health. It is not always the same as illegal harassment, which is tied to protected characteristics. Recognizing this distinction is a primary step toward addressing the problem.
Signs Your Boss Is Targeting You
You receive constant, unwarranted criticism
A primary sign of targeting is a shift to relentless and subjective criticism. This feedback often lacks specific examples and may contradict previous instructions. For instance, you might be told a report is “not professional enough” without clear guidance. This criticism is designed to erode your confidence.
You are being micromanaged excessively
When a manager suddenly scrutinizes your every move, it can be a form of targeting. This is a noticeable change in behavior applied uniquely to you. They might demand constant updates on minor tasks or question your decisions excessively. This oversight is about asserting dominance and creating anxiety.
You are excluded from important meetings or communications
A common tactic is to deliberately leave you out of the loop. You might discover you were not invited to a meeting for which you are a stakeholder or are no longer on key email chains. This exclusion sabotages your work by denying you access to necessary information and marginalizes you from the team.
Your workload is suddenly unmanageable or nonexistent
Targeting can manifest in two extremes of workload manipulation. Your boss might assign an impossible amount of work with unrealistic deadlines to set you up for failure. Conversely, they might strip you of core responsibilities, which can be a step toward making your position redundant.
You are set up to fail
This goes beyond a heavy workload and involves being placed in situations where success is nearly impossible. Your boss might assign you a project with insufficient resources or conflicting instructions. When you struggle, the manager can point to the outcome as evidence of your incompetence.
Your boss spreads rumors or speaks negatively about you
A manager targeting you may damage your reputation by sharing negative opinions with colleagues or making belittling comments behind your back. This behavior is intended to turn your peers against you and further isolate you. Professional feedback should be delivered directly and constructively.
Your accomplishments are ignored or credited to others
One of the most demoralizing signs is when your hard work is consistently overlooked. You may find your successful projects are never acknowledged, or your manager takes credit for your ideas. This behavior devalues your contributions and diminishes your standing within the organization.
Document Everything Meticulously
The most important action you can take is to document every incident. Create a detailed, private log not stored on any company device. For each entry, record the date, time, location, what was said or done, and who was present.
Note the impact of the behavior on your work and well-being. Save any tangible evidence, such as emails or performance reviews that support your case. This record-keeping transforms vague feelings into a concrete timeline of events and will be indispensable if you decide to take further action.
Consider a Direct Conversation
Depending on the situation and your sense of safety, you might address the behavior directly with your boss. If you choose this route, preparation is needed to keep the conversation productive. Approach the meeting with a calm, non-accusatory demeanor.
Use “I” statements to frame the conversation around your experiences. For example, “I have been feeling concerned about the feedback on my last few projects and would like to better understand your expectations.” Focus on specific behaviors and their impact on your work. This approach allows your boss an opportunity to respond without becoming defensive.
When and How to Escalate to HR
If a direct conversation is not feasible or fails, the next step is to involve Human Resources. Before the meeting, organize your documentation into a clear, chronological summary. Be prepared to state the problem and your desired outcome, whether it’s mediation, a transfer, or for the behavior to stop.
It is important to manage your expectations. HR’s primary function is to protect the company from legal risk, which may or may not align with your interests. Present your case calmly and factually, supported by your records.
Exploring Legal Protections
It is important to understand the difference between workplace bullying and illegal behavior. For the conduct to be considered illegal harassment or discrimination, it must be motivated by your membership in a protected class. These categories include race, religion, gender, age, disability, and national origin.
If you have evidence suggesting your boss is targeting you because of one of these characteristics, the situation may have legal implications. For example, if you are the only older employee on your team and are being stripped of responsibilities, this could be age discrimination. Consulting with an employment lawyer can help you understand your rights and potential legal avenues.
Protecting Your Well-Being and Career
Enduring workplace targeting can take a toll on your mental and emotional health. Take active steps to protect your well-being. Set firm boundaries, such as not checking work emails after hours, and lean on a support system of friends, family, or a mental health professional.
Simultaneously, safeguard your professional standing. Continue to produce high-quality work to create a counter-narrative to any claims of poor performance. Strengthen relationships with trusted colleagues and consider networking outside your company to stay connected to other opportunities.
Planning Your Exit Strategy
If other options are exhausted or the situation is untenable, the most sensible action is to plan your departure. The goal is to manage your exit to protect your professional reputation. Avoid resigning impulsively.
Instead, begin a confidential job search while still employed. This allows you to be selective and find a role that is a good fit. Once you have a signed offer letter, you can resign from your current job gracefully.
Provide a standard two-week notice and keep your resignation letter brief and professional. A well-planned exit ensures that you, not your boss, have the final say in your career.